The Engagement Part 1
by PrettyGirlWonder
Summary: As Castiel prepares to take the next step, he needs some help from Sam. (This is part 1 of 3, so stay tuned!)


Castiel was overreacting.

He had been a soldier once, after all. He had commanded legions of angels in glorious battles against the scourges of Hell and he had been victorious. Even after his rebellion against heaven left him drained of most of his angelic abilities, he'd stood alongside the Winchesters and fought. He had been scared but sure of his cause and that had given him strength.

He had fought Raphael, allied himself with Crowley, opened Purgatory and absorbed Leviathans. He had, over thousands of years, proven himself capable of handling stress and performing under pressure.

Yet here he stood, staring at the door to Sam's room, a knot in his stomach, mouth dry and palms damp. _Terrified_. He wasn't even sure he knew what he was frightened of. Sam had never been anything but tolerant and kind to him, even when he'd been less than hospitable to the younger Winchester. Even after breaking the dam in Sam's mind and unleashing the madness that nearly killed him. Sam, unlike Dean, was generous with his forgiveness. And Castiel had reaped the benefits.

The former angel took a deep breath and raised his fist to the door. It swung open before he had a chance to change his mind.

"Cas?" Sam towered over him, as he towered over everyone but if the term 'benevolent giant' had ever applied to anyone, it was Sam.

"Hello, Sam," Cas croaked. He shook himself internally. _Stop being stupid, _he told his brain. _This is no cause for hysterics._

"Uh, hi. Anything I can do for you?" Sam was watching him carefully.

Cas cleared his throat but he couldn't find words yet so he settled for nodding.

"Okay," Sam said slowly, smiling gently. "Do you want to come in?"

Cas nodded again and marched past Sam into the bedroom. Sam shut the door and turned to him.

"What's up?"

Castiel had rehearsed what he wanted to say but he should have known better. His mind had gone blank. He knew what he needed to say but his words failed him. What if Sam said no? Worse, what if he laughed at him? Told him he was insane?

_You are insane_, he thought hopelessly. _This whole idea is insane. I mean, after everything you've done, all the trouble you've caused these boys, you really think you deserve this? You were a failure of an angel, and you're not much better as a human. You should turn around and walk away and be grateful they let you near them at all. _

"Cas?"

Castiel jumped. He'd almost forgotten about Sam, who was standing in the middle of the room, watching him, looking concerned.

"Sorry," he muttered, avoiding Sam's eyes. "I—I had wanted to—never mind, it's unimportant."

He rose to leave but Sam stopped him with a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Sit, Cas. I know what this is about."

Cas raised his eyes to Sam's face. How could he know? Castiel had told no one, for obvious reasons. He hadn't dared himself to think about it too much in front of the boys for fear it would show in his face. How could Sam have guessed?

"What do you—what are you talking about, Sam?" Cas said, trying to infuse his voice with nonchalance but failing and sounding instead like someone had punched him the gut.

"This is about Dean, isn't it? About the two of you?" Sam fixed Castiel with his gaze, filled with sympathy and understanding and kindness and Cas finally understood why Dean avoided Sam when something was on his mind. Those puppy dog eyes were hard to dismiss.

"Yes."

Sam guided Cas to the bed, hand still firmly on his shoulder, and pushed him lightly into a seated position.

"Talk," he said earnestly, never taking his eyes off Cas.

Castiel considered his options. He could lie; he wasn't a very good liar and the last time he'd lied to the Winchesters he'd ended up unleashing God's oldest and deadliest monsters on the world and very nearly destroyed his relationship with them. He could flee, but Sam was taller and faster than him, now that he had lost his wings and his speed. His only other option was the truth. To tell Sam why he'd come in the first place and hope Sam would show him mercy.

It wasn't his favorite option.

"I came to speak with you regarding Dean and I. As you're aware, he and I have been—er—," he paused unsure of how to phrase what he was trying to say in order to avoid making Sam uncomfortable.

"Intimate?" Sam offered, wincing. Cas nodded.

"Yes. For some time now. I care very deeply for your brother, Sam. I think, perhaps, I always have. My newfound_ humanity_," Cas sighed the word sarcastically, bitterness pushing the edges of his tone, "has made it easier, I think, for Dean to come to terms with the nature of his feelings for me."

Cas swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and continued.

"I have been researching the binding of souls here on Earth," he said, but paused when he saw the look of confusion on Sam's face. It occurred to him that humans termed the ancient act of linking your soul to another differently and that perhaps Sam believed Cas was researching some form of witchcraft. He sighed.

"I believe humans call it marriage, Sam."

Sam's expression changed instantly. His face had gone from confusion to excitement, bypassing relief. Cas was caught off guard by the range of emotion so visible in his eyes. Dean was so difficult to read, rarely letting emotion seep through. It had taken Cas years to discern the signs of distress or happiness that Dean was so reluctant to outwardly show. It reminded him, once again, how different the Winchester brothers were.

"You want to marry Dean?" Sam very nearly squeaked. It occurred to Cas it could not be easy for such a large man to achieve a voice level so high.

"I wish to ask for his hand, yes."

Sam laughed, loud and abrupt and Cas jumped.

"Sorry!" Sam spluttered. "Sorry, I just—Cas, you realize that's a gesture reserved for fathers right? Sometimes, mothers, I guess but you don't have to ask my permission to marry Dean."

Cas tilted his head and considered Sam's words.

"I'm aware of the tradition, Sam," he said slowly, as Sam was still chuckling heartily. "You are Dean's only family and I wish to be part of that family now. I'm not just asking permission to marry Dean. I'm asking permission to create familial ties, permission to be a Winchester. As a Winchester, I'd say you have the right to an opinion on the subject, don't you?"

Sam had stopped laughing but his eyes were still light and he smiled at Cas' words.

"Cas, you've been a Winchester for a while now. My opinion is that you two should have tied the knot years ago."

Cas blinked. He had expected many responses but this one was least anticipated. Sam was more than content to let Cas propose to Dean—he was ecstatic.

"Are you sure?"

Sam grinned wider. "More than sure. But, uh, Cas?"

Cas tilted his head again at the hesitation in Sam's voice.

"Maybe wait for Dean to ask you? I mean, I'm pretty sure he wants to be the one to ask."

Now it was Cas' turn to smile.

"Sam, I had been nervous about asking you this for some time. I wasn't sure what your reaction would be or if you'd even want me to be bound with Dean." Sam winced again at Cas' choice of words but did not interrupt so Cas continued.

"But of one thing I am certain: If I wait for Dean Winchester to ask me to marry him, I'll be waiting for the rest of eternity. I don't wish to—what is the term?—'die an old maid,'" Cas finished.

Sam snorted. "I think that term is used primarily for virgins, Cas. I don't know the details—and I don't want to know—but I'm pretty sure virgin is one thing you're not."

Cas frowned at Sam, who laughed again. "Look, all I'm saying is to give Dean the chance to make his move. I think he'll surprise you."

Cas sighed. "Sam, it took him three years, an aborted apocalypse, Purgatory and a fallen heaven to realize he had feelings for me in the first place. How long do I have to wait for him to make the commitment official? How many more tragedies and near deaths and resurrections?"

Sam was silent now, staring at the ground.

"I love him, Sam. I don't wish to wait any longer."

Sam nodded, raising his eyes to Cas' face again. "I understand. Life's short. Shorter for a hunter. And you've waited long enough."

Cas exhaled deeply. One Winchester down—one beautiful, stubborn, pie loving Winchester to go.


End file.
